Reparenting Yourself

This concept of Reparenting seems strange to many people who have never considered it. But the principle is very clear: we can give ourselves today what we did not have when we were younger. What exactly do we need to give ourselves? Growing up, we may have missed out on…

• Unconditional love

• Attention

• Affirmation and guidance

• Emotional regulation

• Encouragement

• Validation

• Comfort, consistency, and security

The idea of reparenting is not necessarily intended to blame your parents, accuse them, or cause problems for them at this time in your life. Most parents did the very best they could with what they had. Rather, reparenting allows you to repair the brokenness of past interactions in your childhood.

One example is the idea of abandonment. There is nothing more painful than emotional or physical abandonment. When a parent neglects you or doesn’t take the time to attend to your needs as a child, it would be easy to perceive a message from your parent that you are simply not important. You would grow up with a very real need to feel loved, to feel secure and significant in the eyes of your parents and family. But what can you do as an adult today? What if mom or dad is no longer alive? What if they cannot provide you with what you need? 

The answer is, that you can begin to love yourself. You start treating yourself as if you are important because you are! You can start the process of finding out the parts of life which were missing during your childhood. Then, simply begin giving back to yourself the kindness, love, and nurture you have always needed. 

If this concept interests you, let’s talk more about this in our next session. I’m glad to help you discover how to do this.